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First of all, if you’re a subscriber, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I wanted to say that because in the past week, I cleaned out two email inboxes with tens of thousands of emails apiece. It made me think about just how many emails all of us get. I always feel grateful for you, but this made me realize even more what an honor it is that you choose to subscribe. I promise I will always try to send you inspiring and useful posts!
Then I went through several years of photos on my phone, deleting what I didn’t want…and I realized something that shook me.
Over the past nine years or so, I could see my shine gradually dimming.
Where did that vibrant, fun version of me go?
Maybe it had to do with external factors: the political state of my country, the pandemic, tough work situations, and other losses and heartbreaks I won’t name.
I wondered whether anyone else felt like this. When I talked about it on Bluesky, a few people said they did. One person wrote something so heartbreaking and poetic:
“Oh, this speaks to my similar experience. Where have I gone? One lone brown leaf trembling on the bare branch of a winter tree. #HangOn”
Maybe I, personally, had no good reason to feel this way. Bad things happen to all of us, right? That’s life.
In the past several years, I’ve been lucky enough to be healthy, and wonderful things happened to me, too.
As an author, I signed with a literary agency I’d long admired, and I got a two-book deal from a dream publisher.
We had a personal financial crisis this year—a couple of health insurance claims were denied, nearly wiping us out overnight—and after a couple of austere and uncertain months, I experienced a TikTok miracle. My book Master Lists for Writers went a little viral, putting us back on solid ground again.
With all the reasons I have to be grateful, why should I feel this sense of loss for the person I once was?
Is it just having to do with the fact that I’ve gotten older? That I’ve gained a little weight? I know that neither of those things really matters.
Is it possible that this sparkly past version of myself never actually existed? It’s true that my memory often tosses aside a lot of the silt and the grit, grasping onto the bits of gold.
Either way, that person is inside me. She never truly got deleted, and I want to bring her out.
If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I’m one of those people who chooses a “word of the year.”
Sometimes, it even works out. 🙂 If you want to think about choosing one for yourself, you can check out my 150 word of the year ideas.
I almost chose “carpe diem” as my word of the year for 2026 (and yes, I know that’s technically two words), because I often postpone both good intentions and joy. But I want every year to be a “carpe diem” year, and in the past week, I decided I had a better word.
Obviously, my 2026 word of the year is “spark.”
I want to get that spark back…and I will!
I also love the word “spark” for its creative meaning. Every new story, on the page and in life, begins with a spark…but you have to keep it from getting extinguished.
If you aren’t subscribed to the blog, I hope you’ll go ahead and do that below! We can cheer each other on!
I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
Have you ever felt like you lost your spark? Do you have a word of the year? Do you prefer to let a new year roll in without making a big deal about it?
THANK YOU AGAIN for reading and subscribing, and I hope you have a happy last few days of 2026!
I love your blog: as a sometimes writer and always “doer” and the “liver” of a full rich life– I get the lost ‘sparkliness’ and think it can be everything and anything that makes one feel that way; but then I see a tree with snow padding its branches; or two guys who don’t know each other each playing chess on the subway suddenly playing it together; or I throw a party– And the world opens up again.
Keep sharing your vulnerabilities and your successes– makes us al better.
It’s interesting that you say you’ve lost your spark. I feel exactly the same. I have to force myself to do things, which never used to be a problem.
I’ve put it down to getting old. I’m a lot older than you. I get tired more easily, nowadays.
Maybe you’re correct in saying it’s the state of the world–from wars to climate change, and the frustration that the politicians who could do something about it don’t seem to want to do anything, even actually doing things that exacerbate the problems.
But we must press on and ignite that spark and turn it into a beacon fire.
Love my copy of Master Lists!
Yes I had lost my spark. But last fall I took an Organic Chemistry class at my alma mater. I wish I could say I got an A. I didn’t. OC is as demanding as it was the first time I took it. But listening to the professor rattle on about positive and negative charges got me in the moment. Studying forced my brain to think outside the box. And going to class on campus surrounded me with the enthusiasm and hope of young students. OC has little to do with writing but a lot to do with brain “chemistry”. So my suggestion is to try something completely outside the box to rev your physical or mental motor.
Dear Bryn, I understand. For me, it’s the emotional baggage of all those things you mentioned that I carry day to day that can’t be resolved or shaken off that dims my spark. In my professional life, I was always “accomplishment” oriented. Identify a problem, create a solution, implement – done! On to the next . . . .
So, perhaps starting the day by insisting on sparking will polish off a bit of the shade. An accomplishment worth a try, I’d say!
Great word, Bryn. Thank you for that. Happy New Year! PJ
I love the word of the year practice, and the idea of nurturing things in ourselves that we’ve maybe neglected, or have become beleaguered.
Good morning Bryn, I peek in everynow and than at your comments and love your website. My granddaughter asked me if I have a word for the year. Hmm.. what an excellant ideal. As if I gave it careful consideration and after pondering over it for a couple of days, I decided that “grace” is my word of the year.
I think that is a perfect word for you. It’s funny how stuff like that sneaks up on us, and we find ourselves changed without realizing anything was happening. My changes in the new year will not be quite so under the radar. As my husband and I prepare to welcome our first child, I find myself staring at a mountain of change. Along with welcoming our little boy, I plan on stepping away from my day job to focus on taking care of our son. I’ve been with that company for 11 years. All the things that come with me stepping away have me working to focus on what is truly important and coming to terms with some not so great aspects of myself. So my word for 2026 is “simplicity”. Yes, some of the things I have now I very much enjoy, but I do not need them. Focusing on living simply and humbly will help me be more grateful for what I do have, and allow me to teach my son that it’s not things that define your life. It is how you life it.
My word of the year is “clarity”. I want to express myself with clarity to choose what I really want for this year and then build towards that. I need to be clear in my life so I don’t get side-tracked and keep flip flopping around and accomplish nothing.
Another great post, Bryn. Thank you. I follow your blog because you were such a bright, warm light in my life at a time when I was this close to hitting rock bottom. I’ll never forget your kindness and encouragement. #StillGrateful. I love choosing a Word of the Year. This year, I’ve chosen Focus. Focus on my goals and on me, my health and happiness. I’m hoping those things will rub off on the people around me so they also will give themselves permission to focus on their health, happiness and the things they want.
I am so sorry you lost your spark. I believe it happened to me, too. Your words always lift my spirits and give me a little spark—you give joy to others. Thanks for being you!
Hi Bryn. Thanks for the upbeat post. I have enjoyed reading these for quite a few years and don’t reply often enough. Thanks for taking the time to encourage us regarding writing and life in general. I’ve been a little “down” lately, just having had a birthday and winter in PA isn’t friendly the majority of the time. Gloomy skies don’t lend themselves to bright feelings. I’m working on a plan and feel 2026 will be a good year! I appreciate the encouragement. I needed to open my email today and find your blog post at the top of the list. THANKS!
Bryn, your post rings true for me. I am older and feel I lost my spark or lust for life as I call it, several years ago. I used to wake up with anticipation for the day and especially for my writing. I published a novel this year and thought that would get me going and it did for a while. I’m not sure as we age if we lose a little something, perhaps a chemical imbalance in the brain. But I sure wish I could get that sparkle back. Perhaps, this is the year I will. I do keep trying. Thanks for your post and all of your posts. They are informative for us writers and there’s always something that makes us feel good about ourselves. Wishing you the best in the New Year, Bryn.
Thank you Bryn, for sparking me to chose a word, or three for 2026! Though I have four published books: two are compilation books, and two are children’s picture books––I am currently finishing revisions on my memoir Awakening to Life: A Journey From Grief to Joy for a spring 2026 launch. I chose: alignment, focus, completion. And for one word to remind me of the three, I chose: completion.
I’m sorry you feel like you’ve lost your spark, and I can sympathize. I lost mine several years ago, and I’ve been trying (without much success) to get it back. Some of it for me is health-related, some is probably aging/menopause, and I think a big chunk of it is burnout. When I’m able to take some extended time off and rest, I start to feel more like my old self. But the highs are definitely lower than they used to be.
I hope you’re able to rekindle your spark in 2026. Happy New Year!