What Are the Questions Proust Answered in His Journal?

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Exploring nature, a new city, or any new place with someone I love.

What is your greatest fear?

Not making the most of my life.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I’ve gotten way better about this over the years, but I sometimes get so wrapped up in work that I neglect my health. I’ll forgo exercise, sleep, and mental breaks, eat erratically, and drink more coffee than water. It’s loser behavior. I’m still working on it!

What is the trait you most deplore in others?

If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a bully. I am usually a positive person, always smiling, but if someone tries to bully me or someone else in my vicinity, they discover a whole other side to me. 

Which living person do you most admire?

I admire so many people in my own life. People doing amazing, altruistic things don’t usually get famous. A lot of people will hate this answer, but I admire Taylor Swift for her prolificness, her strong sense of aesthetics, and the sheer physical stamina the Eras concerts required. 

What is your greatest extravagance?

Buying books I’ve already read, after checking them out from the library, just because I want them on my shelf. But I know a lot of readers do this!

What is your current state of mind?

I feel like the best part of my life so far has just begun.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Modesty—both kinds. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of yourself. If someone doesn’t feel like wearing a lot of clothing, that’s their business.

On what occasion do you lie?

I have fairly pronounced prosopagnosia, or face blindness, so I’ll sometimes pretend I recognize someone who I should definitely recognize.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I don’t love it that my eyes are so small and deep-set. When I put on makeup, it’s usually to convince people that I actually have eyes. But hey, I am still grateful for them!

Which living person do you most despise?

Let’s just say I have a very common answer here.

What is the quality you most like in a man?

Common decency. Just treating everybody with respect. Of course, I love this in women, too.

What is the quality you most like in a woman?

The ability to be herself instead of trying to squeeze herself into a certain mold. I love this in men, too.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

In conversation, I say “awesome” all the time.

What or who is the greatest love of your life?

Mr. Donovan. We became friends when we were both in an MFA writing program, and I started dating him with the intention of marrying him. We wrote poems about each other. We gave each other our private journals to read. We got engaged three weeks later, when I was twenty-three.

We work together at our book editing business, Lucky Author, and he’s my best friend. I’m going to a writing conference this month, just for a couple of days, and I’m looking forward to it, but already dreading being away from him. 

When and where were you happiest?

The first time I ever went to the Art Institute of Chicago with my family, as a child. I felt like I was in heaven. (It’s no wonder I set books there.) Hiking on a glacier in Iceland with Mr. Donovan. Celebrating holidays and birthdays with family. Any time I’m talking with friends, or writing in a coffee shop, or wandering in a library or bookstore.

Which talent would you most like to have?

I would love to be highly conversant in Spanish, and I think I can get there. 

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would probably change the fact that I hate driving! I gave it up entirely a few years ago.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Donating a kidney to a stranger, definitely.

If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I guess I would try out a peaceful life on a colony on the moon or another planet.

Where would you most like to live?

I love living here in the Chicago area. I sometimes miss living in Kansas City. I would also love to live in Flagstaff or Sedona, since we have a lot of family in Arizona.

What is your most treasured possession?

A big box of letters from my grandma. We wrote letters back and forth from the time I went away to college until she died.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Working for someone who wants you to fail.

What is your favorite occupation?

Writing, reading, and making lists.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Optimism.

What do you most value in your friends?

Open-mindedness and a zest for life. 

Who are your favorite writers?

Too many to list!

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?

Mark Tapley in Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens. He worries that his cheerfulness isn’t a virtue because he has too much to be cheerful about.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Does Betty White count? She was fun and had a positive attitude, she was child-free despite pressure, and she was an animal lover. She also had some of the same New Age-y interests that I do. I admire the way she stood up for other people.

Who are your heroes in real life?

To me, this question is pretty similar to #5 and #29, but you might feel differently!

What are your favorite names?

Audrey is one of them.

What is it that you most dislike?

Generative AI slop and the companies that spew it out. 

What is your greatest regret?

It would take too long to figure this out. I never think about regrets.

How would you like to die?

Comfortably in bed, right after a fun 101st birthday party.

What is your motto?

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.” – Walt Whitman