For people who have known me a while, it seems like I just moved out to Los Angeles. That’s not true, though: we moved from Kansas City to L.A. a little under three years ago. I felt like I had to do it for work, in part due to some weird circumstances, and in part because no one was used to people working remotely then.
When I moved to Los Angeles, I was afraid my Kansas City friends would no longer be even long-distance friends with me. (They still are. Thank goodness for texts and Zooms.) As I was packing a box of old photos and letters, it struck me that maybe my time in Kansas City was the best time I would ever have in my life, and it had come to an end. I started sobbing—real, loud, raw grief.
Living in L.A.
There have been a lot of things about Los Angeles I’ve loved, though. Anyone who follows my Instagram knows how much I love our weekend trips to the beach…
And I enjoyed seeing my coworkers around the Studio City office and becoming friends with some of them. It was fun to meet Hallmark actors at a swanky event, become a guest on a celebrity podcast, and walk past movie shoots on my way to work. Mr. Donovan and I spent not only weekends but weekday nights exploring what the city had to offer. It’s a place like no other, and I’m glad we made the most of it.
One of the best things of all about living in L.A. was getting to see Gill’s aunts, uncle, and cousins. They are wonderful, fun, smart people, and I wish we could take them with us…along with a few friends. It’s a great heartache that all of the people you love can’t be in one place.
But I never felt at home in L.A. Sometimes, as I was falling asleep, I’d feel that I was on the very edge of the world, on the urge of slipping off.
And Then Covid Hit
We’ve been so very lucky. We haven’t gotten sick, and our family members who got sick recovered. The beaches and trails have helped keep us sane.
But I haven’t seen anyone in my family since Thanksgiving 2019. I started to ask myself why I hadn’t visited more when I could…and why I’d chosen to live so far away from them. And now that everyone has worked remotely for over a year, we’ve all gotten very used to it.
One day I asked my boss about working from Kansas City again, and he said while remote work might be a possibility, it would have to be from one of the Hallmark Channel offices: if not L.A., then New York, Atlanta, Denver, or Chicago.
Chicago? I asked. This was the first time I’d realized we had an office there.
What Chicago Means to Me
I grew up in central Illinois. I first visited the city as a child on a family trip, and for years afterward, I imagined living there. The Art Institute, in particular, filled me with awe: the Chagall windows, the clouds painted by Georgia O’Keefe.
When I was a teenager, my friends and I would tell our parents we were staying over at each others’ houses, and then drive up to Chicago to dance at the all-ages clubs there. In college, with now-ex-boyfriends, I went to the Arlington Heights racetrack, Water Tower Place, blues bars, and the Green Mill.
My brother and his wife settled in Chicago. The first time Mr. Donovan and I visited them, my sister-in-law took us out for Thai and then on a nighttime lake tour where we admired the city lights. My brother and sister-in-law had children and moved out to the suburbs, and we’ve spent lots of Thanksgivings, Christmases, summer holiday weekends, and even a couple of my birthdays there. My sister and her family even lived in the Chicago area for a little while. My parents are still in central Illinois, an easy drive away.
One of my nieces and and one of my nephews have apartments in the city now. Another niece has an apartment in the suburbs. When I got permission to move and work from the Chicago office, they were texting me screaming with happiness.
Times spent with my family—these treasured, rare occurrences—are now going to be a part of my everyday life. I’m still wrapping my head around that, and I think my mom is, too. My Kansas City friends will be easier to visit. And people don’t think of Chicago as romantic. But it was the first city I ever fell in love with, so to me, it’s one of the most romantic cities in the world. I’m going to go and live a life I imagined decades ago.
Every move entails expense, hassle, and risk, and this one is no different. Who knows how things will turn out? If this pandemic has taught us anything, it’s that you never do know. But I no longer think that maybe my best times are behind me. I’m feeling more like my best times are starting right now.
Have you undergone a big move in your life? Have you ever moved far away from where you grew up…or have you ever moved back? I’d love to hear about it in the comments! Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a wonderful week!
Congratulations on your move!! 8 years ago, we relocated from Denver to the Bay Area. We lived in Alameda for 3 1/2 years. When my husband lost his job, we considered moving home, but decided to move to Las Vegas, instead. The cost of living was more realistic here as Colorado has gotten insanely expensive! We relocated twice in under 4 years. I don’t recommend that to anyone, it was so stressful! But, I’m glad we did it. It’s been quite the experience and now we know we’re here to stay. Denver is a quick flight away.
Good luck with everything and enjoy being close to your family again!!
Hi Brooke! I’m so glad you’re settled in and you’re liking it. We’ve moved a lot, too, since we’ve been in two different homes in L.A. Hopefully after this move, we will stay grounded for a while!
Welcome to (back) to Illinois and the Windy City. I moved here in 1999 and it was my 8th move after college. I moved first to the Northside and in ’06 to the southside- Hyde Park. Even now, driving on Lake Shore Drive, viewing the lake and skyline makes my heart happy. We are a city in turmoil but there is still much to be revered and cherished about Chicago. May you find your happy place here.
See you at Guaranteed Rate Field (Go White Sox!)
Hi Kimberley! Wow, you moved around a lot after college! Hyde Park is such a wonderful area. All cities have their issues, but Chicago is a special place. Thank you for the welcome!
It sounds like a very positive move, and I wish you the very best in your new adventure, Bryn. Six years ago, my husband and I moved from the damp north-west of England to the sunny Charente in south-west France. We were on the point of retirement and decided we needed an adventure before we got too old, and we both loved travelling, seeing new places, trying new food etc. Well, it was a very big change, not only in terms of the weather (!) and language – although I confess here that I was a French teacher – but also with the culture and way of life (shops and banks still close at lunchtime). Seeing our grown up children and other family was not a problem because of cheap flights between France and the UK and everything was fine for five years. However, the combination of Brexit and Covid 19 has changed things completely. We haven’t seen our family for 16 months and realise that they are more important than anything else, so we are now thinking about moving back to the UK (although maybe to somewhere less rainy!). It’s early days yet, but we don’t regret our adventure one bit – after all, what’s not to love about French food and wine? We aren’t sure how easy it will be, but with a positive attitude most things can get sorted. Bon courage!
Liz, my gosh, what a big change! Covid does change everything…but how wonderful that you’ve had this amazing adventure!
I’m excited for you and your new adventure, Bryn! I myself embrace change, though my first big move was when I was 38 – from Victoria BC Canada, to Edmonton AB Canada. Then two more big moves after that. While we’ve enjoyed the changes of scenery, my husband and I plan to get back to Victoria when we retire.
I’m curious about your mention of the Hallmark Channel, because (stay with me here!) my husband’s brother-in-law’s son from a previous marriage is a Hallmark actor, and I wonder if you’ve ever crossed paths with him: Greyston Holt.
Anyway, wishing you success and happiness in your next chapter. Sounds like you’ve got a lot to look forward to.
I’m excited for you! I visited Chicago once and loved it so I can see the draw. I love LA too but to visit, not to live. My one and only big move was to Iowa for college and I loved the adventure. Someday I’d like to live in New Orleans for a few months. Same with Spain. Same with Boston…but my home is in the Bay Area and I’m not sure I ever want to leave. With our youngest nearly done with high school, we’re starting to talk about our future… Maybe those short-term adventures are closer than I think! Best of luck!
Hi R.L.! It’s nice that you feel like you’re where you belong…but definitely, with the youngest almost through high school, that probably opens up other options, too! I bet it’ll be great either way. 🙂 Thanks for the good-luck wishes!
Hi Bryn,
I should be working on my three WIPs, but I read your post on moving and felt I had to comment. I will try to keep it short.
Moving, as you say, involves a lot of hassle and risks, but like many people it has become who we are and we just deal with it.
My father was in the Army and I spent my early years living in such garden spots as Ft. Bliss, TX. and Ft. Sill, OK. After almost a year living near Tampa, FL. we finally moved back to my birth city of Pittsburgh where I finished the later years of my K-12 education where I was always the outsider, went to college, had a career and along the way spent four years away from home in the military.
We have for 16 years now made our home in Florida and I have never looked back in part because my family and friends have, over the years, either moved away or passed away. Pittsburgh is a good place to be from.
You are indeed fortunate to have family and friends who are now going to be a part of your everyday life.
Best of luck in your new location.
Hi Bob! When I was a kid, I was jealous of military kids for getting to move around. Of course, I know now that a lot of those military kids would’ve preferred to stay put! Florida sounds like a great fit for you. Thanks for reading! (And sorry to distract you from those WIPs! Good luck on them!)
Good luck with your move. My parents both grew up in the Chicago suburbs (specifically Downers Grove and La Grange. I also have family living in Naperville), so I’m quite familiar with the area. One specific memory was going to my first baseball game at Wrigley Field and seeing the ivy covering the outfield wall.
Hi Pete! Oh yes, I should’ve mentioned Wrigley Field…I have such great memories of going to games there, and I hope to go to more. My bro and his family are diehard Cubs fans! But I can still be a Royals fan, too, since they’re in different leagues. 🙂
Bryn,
We had been delaying our move for months because my youngest was still in high school, and I wanted him to graduate with his friends. We were also happy there, living near Princeton for over twenty-five years. I was being pressured by my boss to relocate from New Jersey to Chicago to manage a larger group of magazines for my corporation. My wife’s teaching friends gave us a going away party, and I recall a heavy feeling in my stomach. My compensation was too high to listen to my body because we had three sons in colleges, simultaneously. We took our golden retriever and left after the moving van, driving the twelve hours to Chicago. We found a Talmadge and Watson Prairie Style house in Oak Park, famous for the F. L. Wright’s home and studio and Hemingway’s home. It was special with leaded stained glass windows, and built-in wood units everywhere. Three months after I got there, my boss quit suddenly to accept a job in Philadelphia. He was a big part of the reason I moved. He was replaced by some young Ivy League type, who I had to train for his job. Long story short, we liked Chicago, except for the weather and perpetually cloudy skies from the “Lake Effect.” We missed our friends and family, and I hated my boss. After two years we relocated back to NJ. As soon as we drove across the lush tree line of PA, our spirits lifted. My advice is never move for a job, but if you do, RENT, for maximum mobility and fewer financial risks.
Good luck, Bryn. You’ll miss the sun, not the smog.
Brian, I can relate so much, and in retrospect, I think “never move for a job” is solid advice unless you want to move, anyway. We did rent in L.A., at least. The Oak Park neighborhood is lovely, at least…we looked there when we were house shopping, although it’s a bit steep for us. I want to visit the Frank Lloyd Wright studio and Hemingway’s home for sure. I’m glad you came back home to where you felt good. 🙂 thanks for posting!
Good luck with your move! I certainly understand how “home” calls a person back. I was born and grew up in Michigan, living there for many years, including ten years as a teacher. I have moved away three times: Texas, North Carolina, and Texas again (where I now live). Each place and time offers wonderful memories and lessons learned. Michigan and the Great Lakes will always call to me to return!
Hi Becky! You know just what I’m talking about with that call to home. The Great Lakes are so amazing and one thing I love about Chicago! Thanks for reading, and for the good-luck wishes!
You’re welcome:)
I am contemplating a big move so I am happy to read this because it’s putting wind in my sails.
Good luck with everything. It is so exciting to move and start a new life!
Ooh, Naomi, I’m so curious! If you decide to go, I hope it turns out wonderfully for you. Thank you for the good wishes!
Ooo, I have always loved Chicago. (I live in the suburbs now). The Art Institute is one of my favorite locations. I was thrilled when you mentioned Georgia’s Clouds – I am surprised by how many people miss seeing that piece. This is a special place, and being close to family is icing on the cake. Welcome home, Bryn. ?
Oh, how cool! And yes, I remember seeing the O’Keefe clouds when I was little, and my heart just lifted. Thanks for the good wishes, Jo. You warmed my heart. 🙂
Congratulations on your move, Bryn! I’m excited for you, and I hope you have many more “best” times to enjoy.
Ahh, thank you so much, Cecillia. I appreciate that! I wish the same for you in the times to come 🙂
I’m reminded of the song title by John Denver, Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life.
It’s wonderful that you have this unexpected opportunity to be closer to family and old friends!
Kay, I never heard that one before! I went and listened and I really enjoyed it. You know just how I feel. 🙂 Thank you! Hope everything’s going well with you!
Congratulations on your move to Chicago. It’s a long time to be missing your family. I can attest to that, because I’m experiencing it now. I uprooted my 3 kids, mother and hubby to follow my dream of living in Texas. In November 2019 we closed on our house in Massachusetts and started the long drive to East Texas. We didn’t know anyone down here. All of our family is in Massachusetts, except for one sister-in-law in Minnesota, and a niece in El Paso with her family (that’s a long ways from where I am in ETX.) I love living in Texas, but I do miss the Northeast quite a bit.
Hi Jennifer! Yes, it is a long time. I’m glad you like living in Texas, and I hope you get to enjoy some great visits with your family. Thanks for reading!
I was in Chicago once – on my way to Beloit Wisconsin for my daughter’s college graduation. It was amazing to see the Hopewell mounds on the college grounds. My advice is to keep enough money with you for the toll booths and wait to buy a coat till you get there and buy it from a local shop. They will know what you really need.
The biggest move I’ve ever made was from a little town in Wyoming to Portland, Oregon. Since I grew up in rural settings, moving to “the big city” was a huge change. Although some people call Portland a “town,” a million people in the metro area was unfathomable to me when we moved here. Now it’s double that.
What I miss about Wyoming: The big sky. The wind. The small-town mind set where anybody’s success was everybody’s success.
I was a celebrity in Green River, Wyoming when I published my first book, but alas, it’s easy for a small town to forget you which happened after my sister and I produced an album of original music several years after the move and arranged to have a concert in Green River. Two people showed up.
I’m nobody now. When I published a book in Portland, the attitude was, You and how many thousand others? I’ve gotten used to the attitude. It’s just the way it is. I’m looking forward to enlisting my Facebook friends to spread the word once my next book is published.
What I love about Portland: Novel writing classes. A job I loved teaching kids about life in the 1800’s. Opportunity to earn my college degree. Many of my family members are in this area now. Dear friends. A temple.
Things have changed here – cleanliness, crowdedness, traffic. Recently we thought of moving to a rural area but for now, this is the best place for us and for our family. We can move forward from here.
I guess you really can’t walk far with one foot stuck in the past, can you.
Hi Jessie! I’ve never been to Beloit, but I think Knox College, where I did my undergraduate work, is very similar. I didn’t know you grew up in Wyoming. I’ve never been there, either—it looks like such a gorgeous state.
If it makes you feel any better about that concert, I only had one person show up to my poetry reading once…and about halfway through, they asked if I was going to be much longer. It turned out they’d just come there to study. Hahahahaha.
You, my friend, will never be nobody. 🙂
Thanks Bryn. Sweet of you to say.
Congratulations! It sounds like the perfect move for you.
I moved from Delaware to Maryland when I got married. Only about an hour away, but then my parents moved to Tennessee a decade later. I haven’t seen them since 2019.
denise
It’s tough not seeing the parents, isn’t it? I hope you get to visit with them soon! Thanks for the good wishes, Denise! I hope everything’s going well with you.
Congratulations, Bryn, on your BIG upcoming move. I can tell how excited you are for it. I’ve had two BIG moves in my life. Once (with my father) from the Los Angeles area to Washington when I was nine. Which was a horrible thing, since my mom remained in L.A. and I was only able to see her about once a year, instead of once a month like I’d always done. And then in my mid-twenties when my husband (at the time) and I moved to Arizona from Washington. I would’ve loved to move to Minnesota where most of my family is located, but it was not in the cards. I also would’ve loved to move back home to L.A. but the cost of living is just too steep. But each move has help shape who I became and I’m grateful for that!! I hope you have a great weekend ahead!
I’m a fellow CalExit. I moved from Santa Monica to Flagstaff, AZ in September after the riots over the summer got too close for comfort (and my favorite sushi restaurant got torched). There’s parts of LA I still miss (the traffic not being one of them. LOL), but I do love the pines and mountains out here. Congrats on your move!! =)
After growing up in Southern California, my husband and I moved to Chicago many years ago and loved it. We loved the city and the people there. After several years, when I was pregnant with my second child, we wanted to be nearer family and returned to CA. Although we loved being near family, CA was no longer a fit for us. After three years, we moved again, this time to WA. (We wanted to stay in the same time zone as family.) In late 2019 we returned to Chicago to celebrate a milestone birthday. It’s still one of my favorite cities. Wishing you all the best with your move!
Wow, all the very best, Bryn! I still miss Chicago, although I wouldn’t trade my home in Tasmania for anything…but I’m itching to visit my family again soon. Sadly, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of the year; so far it’s been highly responsive to chemo, but neither of my parents is healthy or young; a trip back to my hometown is definitely on the books sooner, rather than later. Nevertheless, I hope your move goes beautifully…and maybe when I get back, we can meet up and share a trip to the Art Institute together (one of my favourite places in the world!). 🙂