Happy New Year! If you read my series on making it the best year ever, you know I’m pretty excited and I have a lot of big goals.
Right now, the year is shiny and new. But what’s going to happen to us when it’s not so factory-fresh? When it’s, say, early March, and the weather’s bleak and blah, and we’ve already had a few disappointments (because of course we will)?
We’re not going to let it drag us down. We’re not going to get upset and say, “Oh, well, this isn’t my year, either!”
Because, let’s face it: if we aren’t cheerful and resilient, it’s never, ever going to be our year.
We can’t control what life will throw at us, but every day, we can control the kind of person we are.
Once a friend told me that every time someone shared an opinion or belief that was harmless, but “out there” or goofy, he recognized that this was his chance to not be a jerk.
(Except he didn’t use the word “jerk,” but you get the idea. And it occurs to me as I type this that I am one of his friends who shares goofy and “out there” beliefs and opinions with him. Moving on!)
It made me think about how every day brings us chances to not be a jerk. To not be cranky to our loved ones, to not complain about trivial matters, to not get mad because someone cut us off in traffic, and so on.
In fact, every day brings us a new chance to be that person we are in our heads when we make our most hopeful plans for the future.
It might be that person who sits down and does the work they planned on doing, instead of procrastinating and getting distracted.
It might be that person who orders the healthiest thing on the menu at lunch when everybody else is ordering burgers and fries.
(There’s a big difference between thinking, “Ugh, I guess I don’t get to have what I really want,” and “Okay, now’s my chance to be the new me!” You know?)
Maybe it’s that person who shrugs and laughs in the face of unexpected difficulties, because the person who can do that is truly living at least a semi-charmed life.
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Some of us can think of characters from books, TV shows, and movies that we admire and relate to as a vision of our best selves. (I’ve written before about the much-maligned manic pixie dream girl archetype and how it actually reflects some of my ideals.) Or we might know of real-life people, famous or in our everyday lives, who also have qualities we’d like to develop more.
Every day is a chance to be the likable, fun, admirable protagonist of the movie that is our life. And hey, it would be a boring movie if there weren’t some obstacles. Challenges are when the quality of our character really shines through.
Our behaviors — the way we think, the way we speak to others, the way we use our time — can be difficult to change, but they can be changed. And the good news is, once we’ve changed them, we’ll still be creatures of habit…but we’ll have good habits.
We don’t even have to wait till the next day to start over and be That Person. We can hit the reset button at 10 a.m., after lunch, or even at sundown…literally at any moment of the day.
I hope we all spend more minutes, hours, days, and weeks being our ideal versions of ourselves (and I do mean ours — not just everyone else’s!) Because I know we’ll love it.
I agree with your thinking. I always tell my kids, “You can’t change the way other people behave, but you can change how you react to them”. There’s more power in that than people realize!
That is so true, Tamara — your kids are lucky to have your good advice. 🙂 Happy New Year!
That is a lovely message to take into the new year. I hope / will have a more positive attitude in 2018, your words have inspired me.
Thanks, Suzanne! I hope you have a wonderful 2018!
This is such a good word, Bryn. Thank you for sharing, and Happy New Year!
Kristen! Happy new year to you, too! I bet you’ll make it amazing 🙂
Such a great post! Thanks and happy new year!
Thank you, Julia! Hope 2018 is fantastic for you!
Thanks, Bryn!
Gurl you are wise. This reminds me of something I read that I literally printed out and put on my bedroom wall a few months back:
“If you’re looking to make a change, then I say stop worrying about results and start worrying
about your identity. Become the type of person who can achieve the things you want to achieve.
Build the habit now. The results can come later.”
Since I tend to be a ALL OF THE RESULTS RIGHT AWAY PLEASE type of person this has helped change the way I approach my day. Instead of going through the day thinking “UGH I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT” it has helped me go through the day thinking “I am the type of person who orders fresh, healthy food for lunch”. Instead of mindlessly drinking too much wine on the weekdays I’ve tried to stop and tell myself: Actually, I’m the type of person who drinks tea a lot, and saves wine for social occasions or when she doesn’t have to get up and go to work the next day… It’s weirdly made a huge difference after I pounded it into my head. It helps that I used to actually BE this person. So instead of thinking I need to change who I am, I’m just working on becoming the person I used to be. Since I used to live that way there’s no reason I can’t live that way again.
Hey friend! I’m always so happy to see you 🙂 Man, I love that quote. I really admire you for changing your habits like that…it’s very hard for people to do, and it’s so impressive!
Hi Bryn,
I just wanted to say that you always have the coolest, most insightful posts! That’s why this is my Most FAVE blog!
Okay, moving right along … I’m one of those rare folks who learned from my parents that my outlook on life can influence who I am, and vice versa. My mother was always a happy person, and it took A L-O-T to get her upset. Why? Because she refused to let anyone or anything disturb her happiness. From her example, I decided (after I was well into my 30’s, some 20 or so years ago) this was a Great way to live, so I adopted the same attitude, and guess what? YUP!! Life is good when you face each day with a grin and say, “Okay, what kind of joy am I gonna have the pleasure of experiencing today?” 🙂 LOVE YA MOM!! May You and Dad Rest In Peace Forever!! 🙂
I love how encouraging this is. You are right. We will fail at times, but that’s okay as long as we don’t give up. The way you spin this is so uplifting. Thank you so much. I hope all your goals are met.